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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28394091">Falling</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/actual_demon_txt/pseuds/actual_demon_txt'>actual_demon_txt</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Undertale (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 15:20:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,224</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28394091</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/actual_demon_txt/pseuds/actual_demon_txt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Frisk who currently is living with the skelebros, is riddled with nightmares of past resets and her time above ground uses self-harm and restrictive eating to cope.</p><p>Another vent fic for me, oof.</p><p>Written when I was like 13 so sorry for the edginess lmao</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Stay Determined</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Frisk shot up from bed. Sweat flooding her body and hot tears streaming down her now irritated cheeks. A silent scream etched into her face. The crying girl lifted her hands to inspect them, slowly bringing them to her face and quietly sobbing into them. She couldn’t be too loud, or the skeleton bros might hear her. They’ve been nothing but kind to her, and it breaks her inside to lie so blatantly to their face when they ask if she’s ok. It would only hurt them if they knew what was going on, especially Papyrus. Although Sans was perceptive as hell, it seemed he remained unaware of what was happening to her and what she was feeling, much to the humans relief.<br/>
After calming down a bit from the traumatising nightmare sent from the Devil himself, the brown haired girl got out of her now ‘soaked in her own sweat’ bed to check the time. 2:13am. Cautiously, Frisk opened her bedroom door that thep skeles had been nice enough to add into their own home once Papyrus had found out that she had no where to stay. She knew it would be extremely difficult to stay our of the watchful eye of Sans in his own home, but Papyrus had been insistent, landing her in a new, warm and loving home. But, she just didn’t fit in with all of the happiness around her. She had gotten better at her acting skills, making her facial expression unreadable. She was surprised and proud that it had fooled Sans. But glad nonetheless.<br/>
The cool wooden floor outside her room calmed the young human even more as she quietly tiptoed towards and then down the stairs into the kitchen. She opened the cutlery drawer and found exactly what she had been looking for. A small, but sharp knife, sitting almost forgotten at the back of the drawer. Eagerly, she took the knife and quickly went back to the comfort of her room, closing and locking the door behind her, to make sure there would be no prying eyes as to what she was about to do.<br/>
Finding a comfortable place on the floor, the brown haired human rolled up her sleeve on the jumper she never took off. The cold metal of the knife ran lines over her bare arm, creating x’s, going over old scars, going over new ones, making strange patterns only she would understand. Her skin stung, like it was on fire, but she didn’t care anymore. She was used to the pain. She ‘deserved it’. She always had to be careful though, don’t cut to deep, and avoid the nerves. It would make things a hell of a lot more difficult to clean up, and would probably hint at Sans.<br/>
She was scared. Scared of Papyrus and Sans finding out. Scared of her past. Scared of breaking the barrier. She was scared of a lot of things, which is what made it so easy to cut, to cut her problems away. She’d heard drinking was a good way to let things go, but that was a definite no no. Sans would immediately pick up on the smell. There were so many ways to ignore her feelings, but she’d never forget them.<br/>
She sliced again. And again. And again. Shredding up her skin. ‘I can’t deal with this. I can’t deal with my past. I came here to die, so why didn’t it work? Why can’t the universe just put me out of my misery?’ She felt the hot tears forming in her eyes. She closed them, hoping they might go away. It kind of worked. Only a couple came out, burning her face. The cutting intensifies. Her skin started to flake off, falling to the ground, like the snow outside.<br/>
Her crimson red blood dripped down her skin. She stared at it, a blank expression on her face. The sight was mesmerising. A single tear fell from her eyes, as she recalled her past, the whole reason she had climbed the mountain in the first place.<br/>
Once the injured human was satisfied with herself, she crawled under her bed and pulled back a well hidden loose floorboard. Underneath was a large hole filled with a first aid kit, a notebook filled with disturbing drawings, and some photographs.<br/>
She pulled out the first aid kit, taking an old bloodied cloth to clean the weapon that she had used to relieve stress. Once it was clean, she placed the sharp metal in the man made hole in the floor. The human took out some bandages from her kit and wrapped her arms tightly in them.<br/>
Finishing the deed, Frisk placed her helpful kit back in the hole in the floor, closing the floorboard over it.<br/>
Feeling refreshed, the brunette checked the time. 3am. She sighed. It’s too early to have breakfast, but she was sure that sleep would be out of the question. Maybe a walk would help. Deciding that that was the best course of action, she silently slipped on her shoes, and cautiously snuck out of her room, tip-toeing down the stairs and out the front door.<br/>
The wave of cold air hit them as soon as they stepped outside. The pleasant village of Snowdin was quiet as the distressed human walked around. She walked down past Grillby’s, past the Shop and out of the empty town.<br/>
‘What would happen if they found out? Would it scare them? Would it upset them? Would, would they be afraid of me, and stay away? I-I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have them. I can’t take the risk. I can’t let them know. I can’t let them know what they did to me... What I did...’<br/>
Without realising it, she had ended up all the way at the Ruins door. Frisk stood in front of the door and looked at it. An intense feeling of sadness overcoming her. Shakily, she raised her hand and knocked on the door. “Knock knock” she almost whispered, her voice raspy from crying.<br/>
No response. Her body shook in remorse, as the young girl turned around and leaned against the cold door, sliding down its surface into a sitting position. Tears started to pool in her eyes, threatening to spill at any moment.<br/>
“W-who is there?” a hesitant voice asked. Frisk froze. ‘She-she’s there! I-I-I can talk to her! Say I’m sorry!<br/>
“L-lettuce.” Frisk replied.<br/>
“Lettuce who?” the voice sounded distressed.<br/>
“Lettuce talk? I miss you mum.”<br/>
At first the answer was met with silence. Maybe she had left. Suddenly the door swung open, and Frisk was immediately swept into the warm, fluffy arms of Toriel. “Oh, my child! I have missed you terribly!” Goat mum cried, holding the human protectively in her arms.<br/>
“I missed you too, mum.” Frisk sobbed into her Goat mothers shoulder. The brimming tears from before, gushing out like waterfalls. “I’m sorry I left you, please forgive me!” Toriel stroked the distressed child’s head, and let out a sigh of relief. The furry woman had been terrified to death at the thought of something bad happening to her sweet child.<br/>
A cold wet touch on her face brought her back to reality though, and she realised just how cold it was out here. Frisk must be frozen right now! “My child, would you like to come inside and talk over some Butterscotch Cinnamon pie? We could make it together? Just like before!” Toriel asked, waiting expectantly for their response.<br/>
“I-I would love that!” Frisk stuttered, partly because of the cold and partly because of emotion. As she was set back down on the floor, she hesitantly took Goat mum’s hand, walking into the Ruins together.<br/>
As soon as they got to Toriel’s home, they set to work on making the pie. They talked about what had happened after Frisk left , and what it’s like outside the Ruins. The tall Goat woman asked about Sans, and if he was keeping his promise to protect them. Frisk answered, telling her about how she now lives with them, enjoying making spaghetti with Papyrus, making jokes with Sans, creating new puzzles together, making snowmen, eating nice cream, and making new friends.<br/>
After talking for hours, Frisk remembered that she had to get back to Skeleton brothers. She checked the time to see that it was 6:27am. The now cheered up human hugged Toriel and told that she would be coming back to visit again. She might bring Sans and Papyrus aswell, if Toriel’s ok with it. Bidding her mother farewell, Frisk ventured back into the welcoming town of Snowdin.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Secrets</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Frisk’s chest felt light. Maybe it was from the cold, maybe it was from speaking to Toriel again. Either way, it was a strange feeling.<br/>The cheered human let her feet lead the way through the town that had now become her home. Walking towards the skele bros house, she quietly slipped back inside, welcoming the warmth. Luckily, it didn’t seem as though anyone was awake, so quickly and quietly, Frisk tiptoed up the stairs and back into her room, trying to make as little noise as possible, so as not to disturb the sleeping house mates. <br/>Although she knew she wasn’t going to get any more sleep, she tucked herself into bed and laid down, this would be a nice time to just think. <br/>‘I really did miss Toriel, I thought that she would hate me, after I left her. I’m just... so relieved.’ Letting out a sigh, Frisk sunk deeper into her bed. At least now, one ting has been taken off of her already aching shoulders. <br/>After a while, the human was snapped out of her thoughts by a loud crash and a triumphant ‘Nyeh!’. She chuckled, Papyrus seems to be awake and already getting started on the breakfast spaghetti. He always was an early bird.<br/>Frisk slowly pulled herself out of bed, and went downstairs to say hello to the childish skeleton. “Good morning Papy!” she greeted. <br/>“AH HUMAN, YOU ARE AWAKE. I WAS BEGINNING TO THINK YOU WERE GOING TO BE AS LAZY AS SANS! BUT OF COURSE YOU GOT UP TO SEE THE GREATEST PAPYRUS AND EAT HIS MAGNIFICENT BREAKFAST SPAGHETTI!” just as Papyrus finished speaking, Sans popped into existence next to Frisk, startling her. <br/>“Christ Sans! You need to stop doing that!” Frisk cried out in surprise, jumping. <br/>“heh, nah kiddo, I find your reaction to always be quite humerus” sans laughed while Papyrus groaned. <br/>“SANS, IT IS TOO EARLY FOR THIS!” Frisk let out a tight laugh, as she walked over to get herself a serving of breakfast spaghetti, the other house mates following suit. <br/>“HUMAN, SANS AND I WILL BE NEEDING TO HEAD OFF TO OUR SENTRY POSTS SOON, SO PLEASE ENJOY THE HOUSE TO YOURSELF WHILE WE’RE GONE.” Papyrus informed the brunette human. <br/>“OK, thanks Papy.” Frisk put on her best face, and smiled up at the tall, energetic skeleton. “Have fun looking for humans.” <br/>“DO NOT WORRY HUMAN, WE WILL BE HAVING TREMENDOUS FUN RECALIBRATION OUR PUZZLES! NO ONE WILL BE ABLE TO DEFEAT THEM! AFTER ALL, THEY WERE MADE BY THE GREATEST PAPYRUS!” the younger skeleton looked into the distance proudly. <br/>“but uh, Pap, Frisk got passed them” Sans grinned, winking at Frisk. <br/>“SANS! FRISK DOESN’T COUNT!” <br/>“whys that Paps” <br/>“BECAUSE FRISK IS FAMILY OF COURSE!” Frisk stopped eating, and looked up at Papyrus in shock. <br/>“Y-you really think of me like that? L-like f-family? She felt her arms and legs go numb and  her eyes becoming clouded. <br/>“HUMAN, ARE YOU OK?” Papyrus looked down at the shaking human in worry. He hesitantly placed a hand on their shoulder. Frisk flinched. The touch was enough to bring them back to their senses. They put on a fake smile, and met with Papyrus’s eye sockets. <br/>“Y-yeah Paps, just zoned out for a minute there.” Frisk gave a reassuring look, turning to see Sans looking over at her, concern written all over his face. <br/>“you uh sure, kiddo? Nothing you wanna tell me? I’m always here ya know” he took a step closer to Frisk, offering his hand. The shocked human stared at it for a minute, expression unreadable, before smiling and taking it. <br/>“There’s really no need to worry, Sans. I just spaced out is all. There’s nothing wrong, I’m fine.” She looked up at Papyrus, seeing that he too also wondering if she was really ok. “Hey, don’t you guys have to get going for your sentry duty? You don’t want to be late, or Undyne will have your head! When you guys get back, we can have spaghetti! That’d be fun! I wouldn’t want to keep you from work, so, have fun guys, bye!”  <br/>Reluctantly, the brothers left, Sans giving one last look behind him at the human in his home, before turning to catch up with his brother. <br/>Closing the door behind them, Frisk turned and walked towards her unfinished breakfast, picking it up and taking it into the kitchen. She opened the cupboard under the sink to find Toby knawing on one of Papyrus’s bone attacks. Beckoning it, Frisk placed her plate of food on the floor, and watched as the white, mischievous dog ate it up. <br/>Once she was finished, Frisk picked it back up again and left it on the side table for it to be washed. Now that that was taken care of, she rushed upstairs and into the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind her. She kneeled in front of the open toilet, before thrusting one of her hands into her mouth and down her throat. She gagged on them, but didn’t give up, she was determined. It had the wanted effect, and she threw up everything she had eaten this morning into the toilet. It didn’t last long, because she had managed to delay her breakfast long enough until the brothers were soon to be leaving. <br/>Slowly, the just-been-sick human stood up, and wiped her slosh covered mouth. She took some toilet paper and wiped up any splats that had accidentally gotten on the floor, before plopping it into the toilet and flushing it all away. <br/>Frisk sighed. ‘Damnit, why did I have to freeze in front of them like that...? They’re not like them. They wouldn’t do that to me. A family is not supposed to be like that, Papyrus and Sans have shown me that. But... I don’t know if I can deal with being called ‘family’ again. I just... I’m not ready to relive that nightmare from before... I’m sorry Paps, I’m sorry Sans... I can’t let you know why...’</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. A knife drenched in honey</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sans was worried. Frisk wasn’t acting right, but he didn’t know why. She had gone unreadable when Papyrus said she was family, and flinched when he touched her. But, without any more telltale signs of a problem, the best thing to do was to just let it be for now. If he was needed, Frisk knew he was there. ‘But that’s the problem, she doesn’t!’ Sans angrily thought to himself. ‘She keeps everything to herself, I know, because I do it too...’ Sans sighed. <br/>He laid his aching skull down onto the cool wood of his sentry station/hot dog stand. No customers, the land was barren. He shivered, remembering the past genocide runs. ‘She’s not that person, she’s not that demon child.’ He was so tired... ‘Maybe I should go and check on her. I could bring Grillby’s, she likes his food, and she hasn’t really been eating.’ Sans pondered on the idea for bit, before deciding to do it. ‘Yeah! Maybe, if it’s just us there, she’ll talk to me...’ He stood up, and teleported into the warm and welcoming bar, he knew all too well. <br/>“Hey Sans!” “Hiya Sans!” “Heya Sansy!” “Woof!” The regular patrons of the restaurant greeted the skeleton as he strode up to his best friend behind the counter. <br/>“Hey Grillbz, I’ll have a double order of burg and fries, to go.” Sans grinned lazily at the fire elemental, who was currently cleaning a glass. <br/>“......I’m guessing the food is for that human friend who’s been staying with you and your brother, is it not?..........” Grillby slowly turned to look at his longest friend, a small smirk playing on his features. <br/>“Yep! She’s been kinda down lately, so I’m hoping that this’ll cheer her up, she really likes ya food Grillbz.” Sans smiled fondly at the last part, remembering when he had first introduced Frisk to his favourite hang out spot. <br/>The flaming man chuckled quietly, and gave Sans a knowing look. “........When is she going to come back? I have not seen her for a while, and I’m starting to miss her company. Or are you keeping her all to yourself?........” At that comment, the short skeleton blushed bright blue, looking down at the table in embarrassment. <br/>“S-she’ll come back w-when she wants t-to. I’m not -k-keeping her all to m-myself! N-now, go get my order!” <br/>Grillby laughed as he went round to the kitchen to make the required food, amusement lit in his eyes. <br/>Once armed with the freshly cooked, warm food, Sans teleported just inside his home. He looked around, it was so quiet, so empty. He knew he was really early, but he thought Frisk would be watching TV or something. Putting the food in the kitchen, the confused skele walked up the stairs, only to be met by a foul, disgusting odour. Following the smell, it led him to the bathroom, where he found..... Absolutely nothing. The toilet was empty, although the smell was undoubtedly coming from there, and there was nothing or no one in the bath. The bathroom was completely empty. <br/>Getting a little worried now, the blue and black clad ball of concern walked up to the human he cares most about’s door. Knock knock. No reply. “Hey uh, Frisk?” still no reply. “Buddy, ya in there? I’m gettin’ kinda worried.” Yet again, he was met with silence. He lifted his skeletal hand, and grasped the doorknob, twisting it. Locked. Nerves taking over, he teleported himself inside the room, darkness enveloping him. He was struggling to find the light switch in the sudden lack of light, but fortunately, Sans was able feel it, as he pushed it, light shooting into the room. <br/>In the middle of the floor, lay a pile of duvet covers, unmoving. Quickly, Sans walked over to stationary quilts, slowly picking them up, finding the person he had been looking for wrapped up tight. Frisk’s face was unusually pale, and their breathing was ragged. He protectively pulled them close, hugging the unconscious human.<br/>He sighed, sitting down against Frisk’s bed. He pushed their soft brown hair out of their eyes, seeing the dark bags underneath them. How had he not seen this sooner? Still holding them tight, The skeletons’s bones relaxed, as he too, fell into slumber. <br/>A few hours later, Sans sleepily awoke to a nice warmth on his chest. Blearily, he cracked open an eye socket, and looked down to find the source of the heat. <br/>Frisk’s soft brown hair crowded his vision. A smile lit up his face as he watched her form raise up and down in a calm peace. His favourite human turned slightly and hum in content. But as she moved, something caught his interest. Frisk’s sleeve edged up, revealing a deep cut, still glowing red. <br/>Sans’s eyesockets widened. Cautiously, he reached one of skeletal arms down to her paler then usual wrists, careful not to wake her up. ‘W-when had this happened...? And why hadn’t she told us about this?’ <br/>Slowly, he pulled up the sleeve til Frisk’s elbow, seeing the carefully marked slices, interlocking each other, creating patterns he couldn’t even begin to comprehend. To say he was horrified was an understatement, he was absolutely distraught. ‘I-I knew she was having problems, but this!? Why would she keep this from us, from me? I swear, when I find out who did this, heh, they’re gonna have a bad time.’ <br/>The outraged skeletons eye sockets went void, and his permanent grin grew tight. He looked down at Frisk, and his anger instantly melted away, this girl, how could someone even live with themselves if they made her shed a tear? Sans had so many emotions flowing through him, adoration for how she pushed on, and kept smiling, hurt that she didn’t tell him any of this, anger for whoever did this, and so much more he couldn’t even figure out. <br/>Sighing, the pale skeleton tugged back down her sleeve to its original position, and pulled Frisk closer to his chest, hugging them tightly, as if he was afraid that if he let go, she would disappear. Slowly, he swept himself into unconsciousness, thinking sad thoughts, and missing his human. <br/>Downstairs, Papyrus had just come back home from his sentry duty, and found the quietness of the normally cheerful house to be unsettling. He walked into the kitchen to find the bags of Grillby’s left forgotten and thrown on the bench in a haphazard rush. Moving a hand to feel just over the bags (Like he’d ever touch that greasy filth, pfft), he found that they were still warm. <br/>“SANS? HUMAN?” Papyrus called out, as he started up the stairs. He reached the landing, and peered into the hallway, it was quiet, not even a trace of a sound or movement. Once he checked his older room, he found himself stood in front of his older brothers bedroom door. Using his magic to formulate a ‘key’ of sorts, he unlocked the door. (A trick he taught himself when Sans had nightmares when they were little) The tall skeleton looked into the room and smiled softly. Sans propped up against his bed, with Frisk in his lap, who was being cuddled tightly by his older brother, both breathing peacefully. <br/>Quickly he shut the door, and went back downstairs to watch some TV, most likely Mettaton. Papyrus sat down and smiled. ‘At least Frisk seems more at peace.’ And with that final thought, he let the energetic show that is ‘Cooking with a killer robot’ consume his attention. </p><p>Frisk woke with a start. The unfamiliar feeling of being safe and warm, was a strange sensation to say the least, but it was nice. Comforting. <br/>Blearily rubbing her eyes, she fought to regain her senses as the confused human looked around, but flinched when she felt soft breaths from behind her hunched form. <br/>Slowly, she inched her head around to come face to face with a sleeping Sans. The young girl attempted to move out of his hold, and was even more shocked to feel his soft grip on the skin of her wrist, and not on fabric, where it should be. Frisk froze, he hadn’t seen them? Right? But what if he has? <br/>While her mind was working in overdrive as to what she should do, she was unable to notice the shaking that was getting progressively more violent, and the slowly awakening skeleton. <br/>‘How do I explain it? If he has seen them? But how do I know if he has? I’ll just avoid him for a while. Wait, no, that would be rude. And we live in the same house. I’ll just act as if nothing happened. Yeah. Yeah, I’ll just do that. That way, if he has seen them, he’ll ask me. But what will I say if he does? I can’t tell him the truth. But I can’t I lie to Him. What do I do? What do I do?’ <br/>Waking up to a hunched over Frisk, breathing irregularly, was not what Sans was expecting when he first rejoined consciousness. So when he did, his protective instincts kicked in, as he turned her around and rubbed small circles on her back. <br/>“it’s ok, it’s ok. Now, I need you to do something ok? We’re gonna do some counting, and I need ya to breath with me, ok?,” Sans whispered comfortingly into the panicking girls ear. “one,” he took a deep breath in, holding it for a moment, before releasing it slowly. “two,” he related the process of inhaling and exhaling for each number, reaching his intended goal when Frisk calmed down enough to breath normally. <br/>It seemed as though she hadn’t understood anything that was being said, but heard the commands of what to do. <br/>Her head flopped down onto his shoulder, lying there motionless. He continued to rub her back reassuringly, until she suddenly bolted upright, confusion and caution etched in her pretty features. <br/>Her brown pupils stared deep into his black eye sockets, demanding an explanation. <br/>“are you ok?” Sans asked worriedly. <br/>“I’m... alright. But er, what happened? Oh stars, I didn’t cause any trouble, did I?” Frisk looked down at her knees, shame at the thought of causing bother upon her closest friend. <br/>“no, not at all. You just woke in a panic. I just calmed you down. nothing bad. that’s why i’m asking if you’re ok. you are ok, right?” concern was written all over the skeletons face.<br/>“Yes! Yes, I am. Erm, did, er, you sleep well...?” trying desperately to get the topic off of herself, Frisk gave her best tired smile, and waited in baited breath for a response.</p>
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